Ishmail Alexander

I was young. You could say I was a child. Actually, at the age of ten, I was a child. But in my native Al-asaba, Sudan, ten was already middle age. My mother, bless her soul, decided that I should go to America to become a podiatrist. I agreed. That night, as I trucked out the donkey cart to collect used shoes in the village, and as I felt the glare of the pale face of the moon upon me, I knew that I was destined to be known. Yes, I never became a podiatrist. Well, at least not seriously. I have dabbled a bit, toying with the sore and swollen feet of a few celebrities (Jack Klugman, Cher, Tom Bosley), but it is really just a hobby. No, I became a journalist instead. But in order to understand why, how, when, with who, and with what kind of cucumber, you must read my memoires (available from Avon Press). I have reprinted the first three chapters here for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.

[Gimme Some Milk]